STOP! And Watch Your Children Play - A Personal Note

Well, a little blog with a more personal feel today: Just a moment to share an experience.

Today, seven years ago, my mum passed away. I was three months pregnant with my first beautiful baby girl. After having had two miscarriages I think my mum was hanging on until that crucial point: those first three months are always the scariest, aren’t they? After I told my mum about the scan and that all was well, she deteriorated very rapidly.

It was all so double at the time, such mixed emotions: On the one hand my mum was dying and on the other, I was pregnant and this time it seemed to be going right. It is like a cocktail of sadness and happiness in one, becoming a parent and losing a parent, birth and death. The miracle of pregnancy and when a child is born makes you realise how amazing life is. The same goes for when you lose a loved one. Having this happen simultaneously is very intense.

We had only a short time between knowing she was leaving us and her actual passing, so time was precious. We spent quite some time enjoying each other and having deep and meaningful conversations about life and death. We had very frank and open discussions and making the most of whatever time we had left together. “Is there anything you want to ask me?” she said on one of these occasions whilst we were sitting in front of her fireplace, staring at the flames as we enjoyed a glass of red wine. We talked about having regrets in life and I was wondering if my mum had any. “Only one”, she said, “The only regret I have, is that I didn’t stop and watch you play more, when you were little.” And I could really feel it.

Today’s world is so fast-paced – it would be easy to just forget, wouldn’t it? All these clichés you hear: “They’ll grow up before you know it”, “Time waits for no man”, we hear them and know of them, but do we actually live by them?? Suddenly you look back and your children are 6 years old. Hearing that really helped me and I often STOP and look at my girls. Just quietly and taking it all in. I am so grateful for that conversation, I am so thankful I was able to have this time with my mum to talk about these and many more things before she went.

So I wanted to share this with you and hope that you might get something out of this. Do you stop and watch your children play as often as you like? Do you realise how precious your time is here? Do you tell your loved ones around you how much you love and appreciate them? Do you have these open conversations about life and death? In a way I felt blessed to be able to say my goodbyes, as we knew her time was running out, some people aren’t that lucky, so why not have a good conversation now? You never know when time is up. Enjoy every second of every minute of every hour of every day as much as you possibly can.